The madness of March

March 2014 was just as crazy as last years.  But before I write about this March, maybe I should finish wrapping up last month's stuff.

February
Every once in a while I will come into Hannah's room and find this:

She will lay her baby dolls down in her bed, cover them with "blankets" (burp cloths from when she was a baby), and then she will put a "sci" (code for pacifier) on the babies.  It's so cute to see that she is developing a nurturing/motherly trait at such a young age.  By the way, Hannah no longer uses pacifiers and hasn't for a very long time.  We cut off the silicone part almost two years ago, but she just liked to have them rest on her chest when she went would go to sleep. We officially threw all the pacifiers away a few months ago.

Penn State has an annual event called THON.  It's a three day dance marathon and it takes place every February in the Bryce Jordan Center (basketball arena).  It is a HUGE money raising event to help combat pediatric cancer.  Nathan took Hannah for a little bit last year, but I couldn't go as I was on a temple trip with the youth that weekend.  Well this year I was able to go and see what it is all about.  It was fun to watch, and I found myself wishing I attended an event like this when I was in college.  I could have easily danced for 3 days.

March
Hannah has started going potty more and more these days.  She is not fully potty trained yet, but we are getting there.  At the beginning of the month Hannah said that she needed to go potty.  So we took her into the bathroom, had her sit on the little potty, and then this enormous smile came on her face as she said "I went pee-pees!"  Not fully believing her (she didn't have a good track record before this), we looked in the potty and sure enough, there was a tiny amount of pee in her little potty.  Such a milestone for Hannah.  We praised her and made such a big deal out of it, and since then she has been going potty more to get "big candy corns."

Hannah decided to dress herself one day by picking out what she was going to wear: white shirt, denim colored pants, pink socks, and her summer black jumper.

Due to Nathan's church calling, he is usually visiting other units in our stake 2 of the 4 Sunday's every month.  One Sunday that Nathan was gone, Hannah and I walked into our chapel and it was very crowded, so we went up to the first row and sat with one of Hannah's favorite people/families in the world.  She found some Cheerios stashed in one of the purses, decided to shove her mouth full of them, and then she shared the remaining with the other family members sitting on the bench.

Kronk has been really wanting loves these last few weeks, and he will find any opportunity he can get to snuggle on my lap.

The Young Women had our New Beginnings event.  Our theme was "Oh the Places You'll Go," and it turned out really cute.  I loved our sock gift favors.  I can't take credit for the banner themed idea and fun arrows, nor for the first two stanzas of the sock poem (I came up with the last stanza).  I got the idea and print outs all from this woman's blog.  Bless her for putting everything into pdfs).

And whenever I get a chance I like to take snapshots of Hannah sleeping.  She is such a light sleeper that I don't get these very often.

I took some of Hannah's birthday and Christmas money and she bought the movie Frozen.  We made a movie night of it with the 3 of us.  I honestly thought she'd be more into it, but after two-thirds of the way through she was done with the movie.  I think she was tired and not feeling very good because she wanted to be held/snuggled (not something Hannah does), and went down for bed at 7:15 pm.  Since then though, she has watched it several times.  She likes to look at the "big snowman" (the big scary one that looks like a marshmallow -- not a typical reaction you'd expect from a child).

And lastly, Hannah loves to go home teaching with Nathan, and with Kellen (Nathan's home teaching companion).  Hannah gets so sad when she can't go with him.  Well tonight, Nathan was scheduled to go home teach one of his 3 families, and so he took Hannah with him.  She was very excited to go as she got to wear her "rainbow dress."  It looks cuter without the tights, but it's still too cold to not wear them.

Sick Valentine's, a shower, and snow, snow, snow

Hannah and I were sick this year for Valentine's Day.  Not fun.  Not fun at all.

Plus, we got dumped on with TONS of snow -- about 1 foot total this week.  I am so sick of snow. Sick, sick, sick.  It is making me very unmotivated to do anything.  I am really looking forward to spring and I hope it comes early this year.  I am anxious to air out my house.

I had planned to make pizzas on Valentine's Day in the shape of hearts, but that didn't quite happen because I didn't have the energy for it.  Instead, we had regular looking pizzas.  I guess it doesn't really matter because they looked the same in our stomachs no matter what shape the pizzas were in.

Hannah and Nathan opened their Valentine cards.  I made one for Nathan that said "I would build an immunity to Iocaine Powder for you" (from The Princess Bride).  He got a good laugh out of it, which was my intention.

Hannah made her card a few weeks ago at her pre-school.  When I saw the card it melted my heart and I decided to have it be Nathan's card from her.  He loved it!

My Valentine's Day gift from Nathan -- he cleaned our bathroom and helped take care of Hannah when I was feeling sick.  That was honestly one of the best gifts ever!  Thanks honey!

In January, I hosted a baby shower for my neighbor.  Seeing that she was having a girl, I decided to use my Valentine's Day decorations for her theme.  Check them out.

We are supposed to be getting warmer weather this week, at least that's what the forecast says. We'll see how accurate it is. I'm hoping it melts all the snow that we just got (fingers crossed).

Primary talk

Hannah gave her first talk in primary.

Actually, I held Hannah and voiced the talk for her.  We figured that would be the case.  She is after all only 3 years old.  But all last week we practiced 2-3 times a day.  It was just adorable. We would say a few words and then she'd repeat what we said.  When we would finish practicing her talk, she would have an enormous smile on her face and get super excited.  This is just one of the small joys of parenthood.

Here was Hannah's talk:

I can return to Heavenly Father by following Jesus Christ by keeping the commandments, loving others, serving, being grateful, being obedient, being humble, and by having faith.

Blessings found in a miscarriage

*Editors note: Some people want to keep their miscarriages private.  Everybody deals with their losses in different ways, and we recognize that.  However, Nathan and I have both strongly felt that we needed to share our story. Not exactly sure why.  Maybe it will help someone out there who is going through their own miscarriage or personal heartache. Maybe it will help parents find joy with their children during the temper tantrums, the meltdowns, or the challenges of parenthood in general.  Maybe it will help someone who is going through any kind of hardship (which would be us all).  Or perhaps it will help bring someone closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  Whatever the case may be, we could not ignore the promptings we both received to share the journey of our miscarriage.  That being said, I'll get started.

So we were pregnant, and we were due June 25, 2014.

Nathan and I were excited to add to our little family!  It has been an interesting journey.  Hannah was actually pretty excited too (though she didn't fully understand).  We also had many family members thrilled with our news. There have been many prayers said in our behalf to have another child and those prayers were answered, though for a brief time.

But Heavenly Father had another plan for this little one.  On November 22nd I went for my first check up. I was 9 weeks and 2 days along.  After 2 ultrasounds, it was confirmed that the baby had no heartbeat, which meant that we were miscarrying.  Tears.  Lots and LOTS of tears.

This news hit us like a ton of bricks.  Actually, that phrase just doesn't seem to do it justice.  It was like hundreds of semi trucks driving at 100 mph hitting you head on.  We were completely shocked and blindsided by this news seeing that I was showing no signs of miscarrying (cramping and/or bleeding). We know of friends who have miscarried, and a few relatives, but we never thought this would happen to us. NEVER!  We were devastated, heartbroken, distraught, and it seemed as if our world shattered for sometime.  It was painful, very painful.  Not only were we sad, but our families were heartbroken too.

It's been 2 months now since the loss of baby Culmer, but since that loss our marriage is stronger. Why? Because not only have we turned to each other, but we have also included Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in our lives, our marriage, and our loss. We have turned to Them in prayer -- heavy, hard prayer. We have turned to Them by reading the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon. The scriptures have the answers to life, and when coupled with fervent prayer they provide guidance, reassurance, comfort, and peace.  The purpose of life is to come to this earth, to be tested, and face adversity. Our miscarriage is just one adversity Nathan and I will have to face.  But if we endure it well, then "great shall be our reward in heaven" (Matthew 5).

Even though we are sad, we feel at peace.  This child was not meant to come to us at this time (or perhaps ever).  Deep down we both know that Heavenly Father has a plan for our family, and that He is in control of that plan -- not us.  We have complete faith in Him.

Despite the sorrow that comes with the loss of a miscarriage, there have also been countless blessings that have come from it. One blessing in particular -- is it has helped us enjoy Hannah more.  We treasure her more.  We are finding more joy in her.  We love her more.  We feel lucky to have Hannah -- our sweet, beautiful, energetic, adorable daughter.

About 2 ½ years ago, Nathan and I were eating lunch at a food joint.  Hannah was in her carseat, sleeping.  An unknown man (who was dressed in attire that made him look like he didn't have much) came up to Nathan and said "You are a rich man," and left.  I've reflected on that statement repeatedly these last few months.  Despite our unfortunate news, we are still richly blessed: We have an ideal marriage -- truly.  We have a healthy daughter.  We have a loving family who would move heaven and earth for us. We are an eternal family, and we have the assurance that we can be together forever. We take comfort in and live for that promise.  We have the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives, and because of that we feel of our Savior's love.  And, we have a loving Father in Heaven.  He is always there for us. He listens and answers our prayers.

Who would have thought that there would be blessings that come from a miscarriage?  I certainly would not have, but I am glad for this opportunity to be able grow and to see the blessings in my personal life, and our family's life.  Despite the sorrows and sadness that life sometimes brings, there is always joy and hope to be found.

Happy Birthday Nathan

Nathan had a birthday.  Woo woo!

I made him one of his favorite dinners -- fajitas (which I forgot to take a picture of...oh well).  I woke up this morning and the house still smells like fajitas. I know he's looking forward to eating more tonight.

Nathan spent his big day by going work, eating favorite dinner, opened a few gifts, and after Hannah went down for bed he had a conference call with all his family (mom, dad, brothers, sister, some in-law spouses, nieces, and nephews).

Nathan wanted his birthday to be very low-key this year, which I was grateful for, and so I did what was ordered.

Happy Birthday Nathan.  I'm so glad you were born.

Oddities

I downloaded some of my pictures today and wanted to post a few of them for journaling purposes, but they are all kind of random so I'm putting them all together in an oddity post.

Oddity #1

Hannah never -- not once -- crawled out of her crib (yes, we are counting are blessings on that one). Throughout the 2013 year we thought Hannah would figure out how to climb out of her crib, and thought that when she did do it, we would simply transform her crib to the bed.  That never happened though, and she was starting to get too big for her crib.  So, on December 23, 2013, we transformed Hannah's crib to be a big girl bed.

It's been three weeks now and Hannah has yet to leave her room during bed time, or nap time for that matter.  I know she has gotten out of her bed during nap time to play with toys because I can hear her (and also because the toys are in different spots when I go back into her room), but she has never left her room during any sleep time.  I don't think she's figured out that she can yet, for which we are grateful!

That being said, Hannah LOVES the big girl bed.

Oddity #2

Over the holidays Nathan was able to have 2 weeks off of work.  That's one of the perks of working for a university -- it shuts down and gives pretty much all their employees 2 weeks paid vacation.  So, we had lots of time to spend together as a family.  We slept in some, read books, and played with Hannah lots.

Oddity #3

One of our home teachers loves to give Hannah gifts for whatever holiday is in season, and for Christmas he gave Hannah a book.  She loves "Brother Bill" and was very grateful for the book. When she unwrapped it, Hannah took it over to Bill and he read her the book.  It was so sweet. We have been so blessed to have great home teachers these last 6+ months.

Oddity #4

Last week we had some very cold weather come our way.  This is not the norm for Pennsylvania, but it didn't phase Nathan and I too much because we experienced it A LOT living in Iowa for 6 years. Nathan's boss once asked him "Have you ever been in colder weather than this?"  He chuckled and said "Yes Chris!  I've lived in Iowa for 6 years, and I lived in the Netherlands for 2 years.  It does get colder than this."

I took screenshots throughout the day on January 7th.  The first one was the temperature around 7:00 am, the second photo is around 11:00 am, and the third photo is around 6:00 pm that night.  Brr.

I'm not going to lie, it was very cold, even if we were more used to it than the other Pennsylvanians.  A few days after the cold front came it warmed up to 20 degrees for the high temperature.  I was talking to my dad and he said "It's cold back there!"  My reply even astonished me: "Yes it is cold.  But it's warmed up these last few days -- we're in the 20s now!" I think the California girl has changed.

Sunbeams

On Sunday January 5, 2014 Hannah went to primary for the first time!  Hannah wouldn't hold still for me to get a good picture, so this is the best that I got.

I can't believe my daughter is a Sunbeam (that's the name of the 3 year old class at church).  The entire week I talked to Hannah about primary and that it was going to be fun as she would get to sing songs and learn of Jesus.  She was excited all week until we dropped her off after sacrament meeting (the main meeting where we partake of the sacrament). Hannah cried a little and she kept saying "I want to go to nursery.  I want to go to nursery."  (Nursery is the class that the 18 month - 3 year olds go to).  I had a hunch she'd cry a little seeing that primary is not part of her Sunday routine, but I knew that Hannah would warm up eventually and have fun, and she did.

Hannah went to primary again today.  As we were walking out of the chapel she said "I want to go to nursery."  I told her that she couldn't go to nursery anymore because she was too big.  I guess she must have accepted it because when we got to primary today she sat down in one of the little sunbeam chairs like a perfect angel, and didn't shed one tear.  When I picked Hannah up today from her sunbeam class, her teachers said that she behaved really well and had fun.  I was happy to hear that.

On a funny note: her teachers brought some cookies to share and eat during class, but apparently Hannah didn't want the cookies (she doesn't really know what cookies are), and that all she wanted were gold fish.